IBC Jurbise

When I was young I really wanted to make a difference in the world around me.

I would vacillate on how I would accomplish this, but the desire was the same.  My first thought was that I would invent something that revolutionized something.  I looked at solar powered cars and showers that sensed who you were and released the water at the exact right temperature that you wanted. I thought about a tuna fish drainer that did not get the tuna-smelling water or oil on your hands, and about a hundred other items that I thought were original ideas.  My father watched me struggle for a few years and finally came to me and made a statement that changed my out look.  He said, “Al, there are no new ideas.”  He continued, “In fact a man can search his entire life and never have a single truly original thought.”  This bothered me, and I pondered it for a long while, determined to prove my father wrong.  I realized after much deliberation that my father was correct  about this (for I was not yet ready to concede that my father was right about almost everything, and I tested everything he said.  Oh, how I wished I could take back all the time I spent trying, and failing, to prove him wrong).  It was not long after this that I found Jesus and started to really study His Word.  I came across Ecclesiastes Chapter 1 during one of my foraging trips into the Old Testament.  Solomon, owner of a few original ideas, in verse 9 said;

“What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.”

The words …there is nothing new under the sun, echoed in my brain for days.  Once again the wisest man in the Bible confirmed what the wisest man I have ever met, my father, said to me.

Later, I looked to acquiring knowledge or wealth to make a difference in the world.  But in every attempt, the words of Ecclesiastes came back to haunt me.  The meaninglessness of life without God reverberates throughout the universe.  It was around that time that I turned to the gifts that God had given me.  I had a way with words; I like the way they sound and the fact that when you write something that makes someone else think, you have tasted a bit of immortality.  I found my path to making a difference–writing.

It took years for me to realize that what I was really trying to do was be profound, to have someone else stroke my ego and tell me I mattered.  There is nothing inherently wrong with searching for significance; there have been many books written on the subject, but when the search moves inward not upward, we skate on the edge of the sin of pride.  The Bible says all sin has its roots in pride:

^“For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world.”

Lust of the flesh, lust of the eyes, or the boastful pride of life (found in 1 John 2:16) are the sources of all sin.  I find that at times I fall into all of those sins, but the boastful pride of life is what I struggle with the most.

Still I long to make a difference in the world, but now I am not looking to be profound. Instead, I find myself continually drawn to the words of Paul, who said that he endeavored to preach Christ and Him crucified and nothing more.  That was “Paul-speak” for anything I am doing that does not bring glory to the Master is meaningless.  John the Baptizer said it best when seeing Jesus walk by (after John dunking Jesus and the Holy Spirit descending and God doing a good Charlton Heston voice when speaking from heaven.)  John could have made his mark with that one high point in his ministry, to have that happen the way it did. He could have moved to California and started a T.V. ministry telling millions how he was the one that was there when all that happened; and that when God did that, it said that what John was doing was His will.  But instead of all that, he turned to two of his own disciples and said, “Boys, there He goes, the Lamb of God, the one I have been telling you about.  In order for Him to take center stage, I have to leave it.”

At this point in my life, I am finding my mind drifting more and more to Paul’s words:

“To live is Christ, and to Die is Gain.”

I long for Jesus to come back.  I have even practiced my best Rapture moves, but no matter how high I jump, or what position I take, I still cannot break free of the gravity that binds me to this sin-filled world.  All I can do is to preach Christ, and Him Crucified, and allow His Grace define me.