What that response is may differ from situation to situation, but you will almost always get one.  Jesus said that we as the servant cannot expect to be treated better than the Master.  If this is the case, then we need to re-examine the term Christian.  The first church began to be called Christians as a curse; they, of course, embraced the curse and relished the idea that the world labeled them a follower of Christ and hated them for it.  Paul  throughout all his epistles tries to get his readers to understand that persecutions is the norm not the exception.  Why would I bring this up in the beginning of the blog?  I think that the essence of Christianity is found in our weakness, brokenness, and willingness to love.

“And He has said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness’ Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.”     2 Corinthians 12:9-10

A few years ago, I admitted that I was a sinner from the pulpit, (pause for collective gasp) and after the sermon an older member of the church came to me and pulled me aside. He said to me, “Pastor, you cannot say such things about yourself.”  I had always thought that honesty was a foundational precept in Christianity. I learned that day that only the appearance of honesty is really accepted.

I long for the day when true Christianity reigns supreme again in our churches, families and personal lives. I look for the opportunity to be real with My Lord and my friends.  I think one of the reasons that we are so hesitant to embrace true Christianity is that there is a cost that we are unwilling to pay.  To love the unlovable is to take the chance that some of their taint might rub off on us.  Many of us live the lives of half breeds.  We embrace the parts of Christianity that we understand and are able to follow.  The rest we leave in a back closet and only address it every once and a while, and only in the theoretical sense.  If we do this, then we are not really embracing Christ, and we cannot fully call ourselves Christians.  John Piper in his book “Don’t Waste Your Life”, lamented this idea of empty Christianity; he said that if you take Christ out of Christianity, you become either a Lecher or a Legalist.  For me, either prospect is unacceptable.

I feel that what the church needs today is to move back to the mind and heart of Christ; to take His banner and carry it forth proudly and not worry about our own power, prestige, or personal achievement.

Many years ago I watched a movie with Denzel Washington and Matthew Broderick. The name of the film was Glory, and it was about a company of Union soldiers recruited entirely from freed slaves.  The movie is amazing on many fronts, but the part that still grips me when I watch it today is the end.  Matthew Broderick’s character volunteers  to lead his troop of ex-slaves in the first charge, a true suicide mission.  There was a lot of discussion about the flag and who would be allowed to carry it up the hill.  You would think that no one would want to carry it because it was an instant target, but that was not the case.  As one would fall another would pick up the flag and boldly carry it forward.  I feel that is how we should be with Christianity.  We should leap at the opportunity to carry the banner of Christ forward and let it wave fully extended on the pole so all can see it.  Our natural tendency to hide our flaws is seen by many as snobbish or elitism.  What the world does not see is the invisible pressure they place on the Christian world to conform to an ideal of perfectionism.  We are the representatives of Christ on earth; we can not be perfect as He was, but we can love as He loved.  We can forgive as He forgave; we can show compassion as He did.  We can take the Banner of the Cross out of our closets and unfurl it and carry it before us like it should be.

True Christianity is impossible to defeat, keep suppressed, or silence.  True Christianity is spoken all the more loudly in our actions, words and even at times our silence.  The war that we wage is not with this world but with the god of this world.  By keeping the banner out in front of us, we are making targets of ourselves; but we are also rallying our forces and striking fear in the hearts of those that are against us.  Battle on my friends!!!

Some of the early church fathers had some things to say about it.  Cyprian (died 258 A.D.); served in Carthage and was beheaded for his faith.  He spoke in some of his writings about what he called the “daily sacrifice” which was taking the Lord’s Supper every day. Chrysostom (345-407 A.D.) worked with the early Greek Church and would often complain about the relatively small number of folks who showed up for the daily partaking of the Lord’s Supper. Augustine (354-430 A.D.) said that the partaking of the Lord’s Supper was different from place to place. Early on there was no set pattern; some observed it daily, some weekly, some at other times.  Basil (died 379 A.D.) served the church in Caesarea and wrote a lot of letters. In one he mentions that they “commune four times in the week, on the Lord’s Day, the fourth day, the preparation day and the Sabbath.” Ambrose (died 397 A.D.) also encouraged his followers in Italy to partake daily.

Another major characteristic of the early observance of the Lord’s Supper was its lack of formality and ritualism that often occurs today. It was observed very simply and in connection with a fellowship.  Paul got onto the church in Corinth about the way they connected the two.

“The disciples followed their Lord’s example, celebrating a love-feast, which would be enriched with memories of their Master and teaching from His nearest disciples, and closing with the more solemn thanksgiving for the broken body and the cup of blessing which Jesus had consecrated” (Hastings, Dictionary of the Apostolic Church, vol. 2, p. 68).

The Lord’s Supper began, “we believe, as a fellowship meal — the Love Feast” (William Barclay, The Lord’s Supper, p. 57).

“At first the communion was joined with a ‘Love Feast,’ and was celebrated in the evening, in memory of the last supper of Jesus with His disciples. But as early as the beginning of the second century these two exercises were separated, and the communion was placed in the morning and the love feast in the evening” (Philip Schaff, History of the Christian Church, vol. 2 — Ante-Nicene Christianity, p. 239).

As is natural, or at least within the confines of human nature, some revered the things of God sometimes more then God Himself, and eventually the elements (bread and wine) were viewed as being sacred.  Whenever something becomes more then it is, there needs to be some sort of regulation on its use.  Plus, if it is revered then you can control who can give it out, and thus control who gets it.  Hippolytus, who was martyred in the middle of the 3^rd century, taught that believers must show the most intense reverence for the elements of the Lord’s supper or the Eucharist (the Greek word for thanksgiving). He taught that it should be received early in the day before any other common food was in the stomach; none of it must be dropped or spilt, which would defile it on a dirty floor.  Hippolytus warned the members of the church that they must never “leave the sacred bread about the house where an un-baptized person, or even a mouse, might accidentally eat it.” Later, it would be taught that should a mouse eat a crumb of the bread that had fallen to the floor, it would thereby receive eternal life! The church even passed out leaflets and taught commonly that, to keep mice from infesting Heaven, the elements had to be protected!

The Lord’s Supper for Martin Luther was a divine sign of the union between all believers and Christ. He even tried to “restore” the Lord’s Supper to its original state as simply a commemoration of the atoning death of Christ and a communion of believers with Him. Luther observed a weekly communion as the end of the regular service on Sunday.

John Calvin encouraged a monthly observance, in a reverent manner, of the Lord’s Supper.

Through the work of the reformers, the age of the Reformation swept through Europe and with it a desire to read the word of God on an individual basis.  This prompted many believers to refocus most of their ideas and indoctrinated rituals that had no real base in the Bible.

John Calvin wrote this about the Lord’s Supper:

But as the blessings of Jesus Christ do not belong to us at all, unless he be previously ours, it is necessary, first of all, that he be given us in the Supper, in order that the things which we have mentioned may be truly accomplished in us. For this reason I am wont to say, that the substance of the sacraments is the Lord Jesus, and the efficacy of them the graces and blessings which we have by his means. Now the efficacy of the Supper is to confirm to us the reconciliation which we have with God through our Savior’s death and passion; the washing of our souls which we have in the shedding of his blood; the righteousness which we have in his obedience; in short, the hope of salvation which we have in all that he has done for us. It is necessary, then, that the substance should be conjoined with these, otherwise nothing would be firm or certain. Hence we conclude that two things are presented to us in the Supper, viz., Jesus Christ as the source and substance of all good; and, secondly, the fruit and efficacy of his death and passion. This is implied in the words which were used. For after commanding us to eat his body and drink his blood, he adds that his body was delivered for us, and his blood shed for the remission of our sins. Hereby he intimates, first, that we ought not simply to communicate in his body and blood, without any other consideration, but in order to receive the fruit derived to us from his death and passion; secondly that we can attain the enjoyment of such fruit only by participating in his body and blood, from which it is derived.

All that has been said about this has shaped the modern concept of the Lord’s Supper.  The real problem with it is that to truly understand the Lord’s Supper, we need to look at how the Lord Himself understood it and what He meant when he said “this is my Body and this is my Blood”.

When Jesus was celebrating the Passover feast with His disciples, the meal had two parts: the first was the eating of bread, and the second was the telling of the Exodus story.  For the bread portion, the head of the household would hold the unleavened bread (symbol of having no sin); then he would recite a formula taken from Deuteronomy 16:3; “This is the bread of affliction which our fathers ate when they came out of Egypt.”  Then the head of the household would recite the story of the Exodus from Egypt.  Jesus instituted the Lord’s Supper at the Passover Meal.  He would have been filling the role of the head of the household during this Passover meal.  The meal was all about the defining moment when God delivered them from bondage and slavery.  It is in this spirit that the Lord’s Supper functions for us today! Jesus is our “Passover” (1 Cor. 5:7); the “Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world” (John 1:29). Is it any wonder why Jesus said, “How I have longed to eat this Passover with you before my death!” (Luke 22:15).

The whole thrust of the meal is to remember what the Lord had done for them and for us.  There was bread and wine on the table and the whole meal hinged around five cups.

At the start of the meal, candles are lit and a prayer is offered to bless the first cup of wine: “Blessed are You, O Lord our God, King of the Universe, the Creator who brings forth the vine from the earth with its fruit” (Genesis 1:11).

This first cup is called the Cup of Sanctification, signifying “I the Lord will bring you out from under the yoke of slavery” (Exodus 6:6); this was God setting the children of Israel apart for Himself.

The second cup, the Cup of Plagues is filled and passed round. The ten plagues on Pharaoh’s Egypt are verbally recounted (Exodus 7:14-12:36):

Blood, Frogs, Lice, Flies, Cattle Disease, Boils, Hailstones, Locusts, Darkness, Death of the Firstborn
This Cup of Plagues is the last cup before the Passover Lamb is considered (see Luke 22:17).

It was after this point that Jesus instituted ‘the Lord’s Supper’. He took the bread (laid aside earlier) and gave thanks (Matthew 26:26): “Blessed are You, O Lord our God, King of the Universe, the Creator who brings forth bread from the earth”, according to the Jewish custom. Then He broke the bread and passed round the third cup of wine, called the Cup of Blessing or the Cup of Redemption. Jesus said “This cup is the new covenant in My blood, which is poured out for you” (Luke 22:20).

The final cup of wine, the Cup of Praise, is drunk as the meal concludes with the singing of the remaining ‘Halel’ (or Hallelujah) Psalms (115-118) and the ‘Great Halel’, Psalm 136 “God’s love endures for ever”. These psalms are probably the ‘hymn’ mentioned in Matthew 26:30. Psalm 116 is important to the Lord’s prayer in the garden of Gethsemane.

The fifth cup that was never drunk was the cup for Elijah.  This was the cup that the Jews used to symbolize the coming Messiah.  They were waiting for a voice crying from the wilderness that was Elijah, reborn/returned, and he would come before the Messiah.

It is also the one that is used the least among fellow believers.  Jesus said that, “By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:35)  Love comes at a cost, and that cost is grace.  I have heard the definition of grace is “unmerited pardon”, and I agree that definition is part of grace, but it does not capture the whole of it.  I thought long and hard about how to approach this topic.  I considered doing a deep and complicated Greek word study–the word is charis, and we derive a whole slue of words from it like charity, caring, and so on.  I thought about chasing it through Scripture and seeing where it landed and reflect on that.  But instead, I decided that I would look at what grace is and how do I apply it to my day to day life.  Jesus said that we would be defined by our love toward one another, and that love stems from grace; more specifically, the grace we receive from God. Therefore, I feel that looking at grace in this light is more practical.

Strong’s Concordance uses this phrase to help define the word, “a divine influence upon the heart and its reflection in life.”  I quite like that.  Esoteric and complicated treatises on this will not really answer it; in fact, I believe that those types of studies only muddy the waters of understanding.  If I cannot read God’s word and apply it to my life then there is a problem.  As a pastor for over twelve years, I have seen this little word overlooked and under used more often than not.  If there is one place in this mortal plain that a Christian should be able to go to seeking grace for a sin or failing it should be the church.  I am not talking about the building or a little hidden box that a person can enter and anomalously spill their guts.  I am talking about the true body of Christ, you and me.  Speaking with a friend this past week, he made a comment on a related topic.  He said, “You can talk God, you cannot talk to each other.”  I was already mulling this topic over and his words struck a cord within, and I found myself agreeing with him and at the same time feeling extremely sad.  Why is it that we as “Christians”, Christ’s representatives on earth, refuse to impart grace to the fallen and tend to spend our time sitting in judgment and keeping lists of past grievances like a miser hoarding gold?  It seems like we are cannibalistic in our nature.  We may not say it, but we show that we relish when some one near us falls.  I think that in some small way, we use it to make us feel a little better about ourselves.  But this is not the way that Jesus called us to!

I have called this blog “Grace Unleashed”, for the very reason that we as God’s agents of change in this fallen world are called to spread the grace of God every where we can.  Listen to the words of Paul:

“through whom we have received grace and apostleship to bring about the obedience of faith among all the Gentiles for His name’s sake, among whom you also are the called of Jesus Christ; to all who are beloved of God in Rome, called as saints: Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.”  Romans 1:5-7

“being justified as a gift by His grace through the redemption which is in Christ Jesus;”  Romans 3:35

“Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. I thank my God always concerning you for the grace of God which was given you in Christ Jesus,” 1 Corinthians 1:3-4

“But by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me did not prove vain; but I labored even more than all of them, yet not I, but the grace of God with me.”  I Corinthians 15:10

“And working together with Him, we also urge you not to receive the grace of God in vain—“2 Corinthians 6:1

“And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that always having all sufficiency in everything, you may have an abundance    for every good deed;” 2 Corinthians 9:8

99 times Paul uses the “Grace” word, and in all of them he is urging us to make the most of the grace that God has given us.  If Paul cared enough to mention this so many times, then we should at least listen.  We are called to “be a vessel for honor, sanctified, useful to the Master, prepared for every good work.” We are to fill up our lives with the grace and mercy of the Lord and then dump it out on the world around us.  We are called, in this sense, to be sloppy Christians; a cup running over, with fountains of “living water” flowing from us to a lost and dying world.

In closing, I ask you this: if we, as the church of Christ on earth, do not demonstrate the grace and mercy of God among our own, how can we show it to those in need around us?

“The grace of the Lord Jesus be with you” 1 Corinthians 16:23

This week marks the beginning of a three part blog entitled: Faith Untamed, Grace Unleashed, and Christianity Unfurled. Lately I have been finding my self drawn to the 11^th chapter of Hebrews, long referred to as the Hall of Faith.   Jesus spoke often of faith; one such occasion was in Matthew 17:10 where He says,

“Because of the littleness of your faith; for truly I say to you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there, and it will move; and nothing will be impossible to you.”

I remember the first time that I heard this passage preached.  The pastor spent a good deal of time trying to make this a metaphor for life and the trials that we all go through–that the mountains that Jesus was talking about were metaphorical mountains, not real ones.  The logic behind it was that no one can really move a mountain because that is just silly.  When I look at this passage, I see mountain and I need to ask what Jesus meant.  I could speculate, or I could go back to the original Greek and look to see.  In this case, the Greek word Oros is the word  Jesus used. It means a mountain or lifting above the plain.  Jesus said mountain and in this context He meant mountain.  In our safe, normal, nothing supernatural ever happens western world mind set, the idea of rearranging landscapes with out heavy equipment is outrageous.

When reading the 11^th chapter of Hebrews, most love to focus on the guys and gals that lived faith and adventure filled lives: Moses, Abraham, Sarah, Caleb and the rest.  But I would hazard a guess that anyone on that list would point to the end of the chapter as their favorite part.  In verses 33 through 40, we see the real pathway of faith.

“who by faith conquered kingdoms, performed acts of righteousness, obtained promises, shut the mouths of lions, quenched the power of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, from weakness were made strong, became mighty in war, put foreign armies to flight. Women received back their dead by resurrection; and others were tortured, not accepting their release, so that they might obtain a better resurrection; and others experienced mockings and scourgings, yes, also chains and imprisonment. They were stoned, they were sawn in two, they were tempted, they were put to death with the sword; they went about in sheepskins, in goatskins, being destitute, afflicted, ill-treated (men of whom the world was not worthy), wandering in deserts and mountains and caves and holes in the ground. And all these, having gained approval through their faith, did not receive what was promised, because God had provided something better for us, so that apart from us they would not be made perfect.”

Conquering kingdoms, shutting lions mouths, receiving back those that were dead, enduring hardships, torture, and martyrdom–all these things together do not paint the picture of modern Christianity.  In the western world mindset, Christianity is all about having the right church to go to and making sure it has all the things that you need to make your life more comfortable.  We worry about the color of the carpet and take offence if the Pastor does not acknowledge me for the work I did the past week for the church.  Modern Christianity is so far from Biblical Christianity that it is like comparing apples and oranges.  We have professionalized the ministry and corporatized the church so that it is just another business, with success markers and “corporate ladders” to climb.  I have met a number of ministers that actually got saved after they had been in the ministry for a few years.  Where is the faith-filled, Holy Ghost lead, hard core Christians that would be the first in line to give their lives for the cause of Christ?  Where are the “Men of whom the world was not worthy”?  Or better yet, how can I become a man that “the world was not worthy” of?

There is a cost of unleashing faith into our lives.  Paul talks about it in 2 Corinthians 11:25-27:

“Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was ⁽stoned, three times I was shipwrecked, a night and a day I have spent in the deep. I have been on frequent journeys, in dangers from rivers, dangers from robbers, dangers from my countrymen, dangers from the Gentiles, dangers in the city, dangers in the wilderness, dangers on the sea, dangers among false brethren; I have been in labor and hardship, through many sleepless nights, in hunger and thirst, often without food, in cold and exposure.”

What we know of faith in the New Testament is largely from Paul.  Not just his writing, but from his life as well. We see faith in the Lord Jesus, and what can come of a life filled by faith.

Sometimes it is easy to play armchair Christian and point out all the problems that other people have, but it is not so easy to apply the same lens to ourselves.  I will be the first one to admit that my life is not filled with enough faith.  I struggle unleashing true and utter faith into my life.  Giving up control and letting God lead me where He will is sometimes a scary thing.  But at the same time, I long to have the faith experiences that are mentioned in the 11^th chapter of Hebrews.

I have come to the conclusion that for me giving myself completely heart, mind, and body to my Lord and King to spend me how He chooses is my only real option.  My encouragement this week is to pray for the opportunity to unleash some faith in your lives.

When I first surrendered to the call to the ministry, a retired missionary offered to take my wife and me out to dinner.  Her name was Grace, and that name also defined her personality.  She had spent most of her adult life on the mission field with her husband.  They started off in Haiti then moved to Jamaica when most of those they ministered to fled their home land.  She had lost her husband a number of years before in the field and never had a single minute of regret in a life given completely to God.  She sat with us in a cheesy Italian restaurant near the nursing home that she lived in.  It was there that she pulled out one of the smallest parables in the Bible, found in Luke 14:28-30;

“For which one of you, when he wants to build a tower, does not first sit down and calculate the cost to see if he has enough to complete it? Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who observe it begin to ridicule him, saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish.”

She simply laid it out to us that there is a cost to discipleship, and that not taking that into consideration before entering in is foolish.  For the longest time I thought that this was true for ministers only.  Most other professions have a system that you are aware of when you join.  They let you know of advancement possibilities and retirement as well as what kind of healthcare you can expect.  In the ministry, all those things are a little more up in the air.  In recent years, I have been looking more and more into the true cost of discipleship.  I am not done really examining it for myself; in fact, I may never be done, but I have come to some conclusions.  Reading Revelation chapter 2, and He says that He has one thing against the church of Ephesus and that is that they have lost their first love, that has gotten me thinking.  I have been reading several books by Erwin McManus, Brennan Manning, John Piper and others, and I can say that I have been moved.  My original cost that I thought that I had calculated to the best of my ability was way off.  So far off that I might as well have been trying to hit a target three hundred meters in the opposite direction.

First we need to dispel the notion that there are “ministers” (said with a deep authoritative voice, eyes half closed and head titled so as to give the impression that one is speaking from a lofty perch) and then there is everyone else.  We are all called to the ministry in some form or fashion.  We are made stewards and priests of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  God is no respecter of persons, He moves as He sees fit, through whom He chooses.  He used Daniel and Nebuchadnezzar at the same time.  For the most part, they were polar opposites, but each had skills and abilities that He needed to advance His kingdom and bring His Son into this world.  If we are all called to serve the Master then what has He called us to do?

In Luke 9:56-62:

As they were walking along the road, a man said to him, “I will follow you wherever you go.” Jesus replied, “Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.” He said to another man, “Follow me.” But the man replied, “Lord, first let me go and bury my father.” Jesus said to him, “Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God.” Still another said, “I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say good-by to my family.” Jesus replied, “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.”

We see the cost delivered in such a way that there is no mistaking what Jesus is saying.  In Luke 14:25-27:

Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said: “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple. And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple,

He makes a singular statement again as to the cost.  He is not some flashy grinning used car salesman trying to get you to buy into his latest multilevel scam.

“Just agree to follow me, pay me $199.95 a month and you will get the Gold level discipleship plan, we call it the ‘John Plan’. That is you will not die till you reach the ripe old age of 95 and no weapon will harm you not even boiling oil.  You get a large house complete with a two car garage to park your very own luxury car.  If you think that this is too much then you can try the ‘Andrew Plan’ for $99.95 a month.  You will be little known and a bit obscure, but for the most part left alone as long as you bring at least three friends into the faith (family counts).  Then for those of you that want the economy plan there is the ‘Paul Plan’ for a mere $19.95 a month.  You get some used sandals and a walking stick.  The promise of hard work and being very under-appreciated and forced to defend your ministry every step of the way, and in the end you will be horribly killed. Act now while supplies last…”

There are no package plans for following Christ.  We are called to simply follow Him.  We are to esteem nothing above Him—not our family, friends, good reputation, position, power, or things.  He is to be our only focus.  He does add as a cherry that if we truly seek after the things of the Lord, He will give us the desire of our heart.  But you will find that those desires will not be totally your own, they will be a melding of you and God.  This is not the end, but rather the beginning, the larval stage if you will, of eternity.

I leave you with this question, “What has the Lord said to you lately?”

I would vacillate on how I would accomplish this, but the desire was the same.  My first thought was that I would invent something that revolutionized something.  I looked at solar powered cars and showers that sensed who you were and released the water at the exact right temperature that you wanted. I thought about a tuna fish drainer that did not get the tuna-smelling water or oil on your hands, and about a hundred other items that I thought were original ideas.  My father watched me struggle for a few years and finally came to me and made a statement that changed my out look.  He said, “Al, there are no new ideas.”  He continued, “In fact a man can search his entire life and never have a single truly original thought.”  This bothered me, and I pondered it for a long while, determined to prove my father wrong.  I realized after much deliberation that my father was correct  about this (for I was not yet ready to concede that my father was right about almost everything, and I tested everything he said.  Oh, how I wished I could take back all the time I spent trying, and failing, to prove him wrong).  It was not long after this that I found Jesus and started to really study His Word.  I came across Ecclesiastes Chapter 1 during one of my foraging trips into the Old Testament.  Solomon, owner of a few original ideas, in verse 9 said;

“What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.”

The words …there is nothing new under the sun, echoed in my brain for days.  Once again the wisest man in the Bible confirmed what the wisest man I have ever met, my father, said to me.

Later, I looked to acquiring knowledge or wealth to make a difference in the world.  But in every attempt, the words of Ecclesiastes came back to haunt me.  The meaninglessness of life without God reverberates throughout the universe.  It was around that time that I turned to the gifts that God had given me.  I had a way with words; I like the way they sound and the fact that when you write something that makes someone else think, you have tasted a bit of immortality.  I found my path to making a difference–writing.

It took years for me to realize that what I was really trying to do was be profound, to have someone else stroke my ego and tell me I mattered.  There is nothing inherently wrong with searching for significance; there have been many books written on the subject, but when the search moves inward not upward, we skate on the edge of the sin of pride.  The Bible says all sin has its roots in pride:

^“For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world.”

Lust of the flesh, lust of the eyes, or the boastful pride of life (found in 1 John 2:16) are the sources of all sin.  I find that at times I fall into all of those sins, but the boastful pride of life is what I struggle with the most.

Still I long to make a difference in the world, but now I am not looking to be profound. Instead, I find myself continually drawn to the words of Paul, who said that he endeavored to preach Christ and Him crucified and nothing more.  That was “Paul-speak” for anything I am doing that does not bring glory to the Master is meaningless.  John the Baptizer said it best when seeing Jesus walk by (after John dunking Jesus and the Holy Spirit descending and God doing a good Charlton Heston voice when speaking from heaven.)  John could have made his mark with that one high point in his ministry, to have that happen the way it did. He could have moved to California and started a T.V. ministry telling millions how he was the one that was there when all that happened; and that when God did that, it said that what John was doing was His will.  But instead of all that, he turned to two of his own disciples and said, “Boys, there He goes, the Lamb of God, the one I have been telling you about.  In order for Him to take center stage, I have to leave it.”

At this point in my life, I am finding my mind drifting more and more to Paul’s words:

“To live is Christ, and to Die is Gain.”

I long for Jesus to come back.  I have even practiced my best Rapture moves, but no matter how high I jump, or what position I take, I still cannot break free of the gravity that binds me to this sin-filled world.  All I can do is to preach Christ, and Him Crucified, and allow His Grace define me.

If that is the case, then we should be careful of what we read as much as what we eat and drink.  Growing up in the beginning of the computer age, there was a  common phrase that I heard in the early 80’s–GIGO– which is garbage in garbage out.  Today, we have moved away from that phrase mostly because few of us are entering code anymore since our computers do not need them to work, but that does not invalidate the phrase.   The two books that I am reading at the moment are “The Jesus Driven Ministry” by Ajith Fernando, and “Don’t waste your Life” by John Piper.  Both of these books could have been written by the same person, they are that similar.  Fernando’s book spends a lot of time on living with a passion, and Piper talks about living with the cross of Christ as our passion.  When I read these words, I am inexorably drawn to the Word of God.  I like to hear what some of the great spiritual leaders have to say, but most of the time they are more like cotton candy on the tongue–tastes good but disappears quickly and leaves you wanting more.  It is at times like that, with my appetite wet, that I turn to the Bible to see what the Master has to say.

I like to read through the Sermon on the Mount once a month, or so  just so I can imagine what it would have been like to sit on that hill in the great cathedral of nature and hear the Master Preacher deliver one of the finest sermons ever recorded.  I find that all the important doctrines of the church are found in this sermon.  I look there to find a glimpse of the passion that both Fernando and Piper are talking about.  More importantly, I am looking for the path for my passion to take.  In my reading through this sermon, I sometimes breeze through the Beatitudes and lightly look at the next few verses, all of which are good, and at other times I drink them in as a thirsty man in a desert might.  For some reason though, I cannot stop there, it does not go deep enough for what I am looking for.  That “hunger and thirst…” has me in its grip at this point and I cannot settle for anything less than what I am looking for.  The bad part is that I am not really sure what I am searching for; (surely a hidden gem or a missed verse or something that I can hook my passion to) but what is it?  It is at this moment that I find “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” (Matthew 6:33)  It was as though the Master was pausing in His sermon to those on the hill in Judea and looking into the camera, right at me, and saying “Al, Seek My Kingdom first and My righteousness, and everything else will fall into place.”

At that moment, the hunger overtakes me, and I can feel my fingers moving of their own accord as I fly though the gospels to Mark 8:34 “And He summoned the crowd with His disciples, and said to them, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me”. I find myself again with the feeling that Jesus is speaking directly into my soul.  I want to follow after Jesus.  If that is true, then He lays out what I have to do: deny myself, pick up my cross, and follow Him.  Still in the grip of the hunger, I am lead to John 6 where starting in verse 22, Jesus begins to speak in earnest to those cling-on folks that followed looking for something amazing, much like the paparazzi follow the famous today.  He tells the people that He is the bread of life, and that the bread that was given to the Israelites in the desert all those years ago was in all reality Himself.  Around verse 60, the disciples are struggling to digest the words that He gave them and felt that He was giving them a “…hard teaching”, and in fact He was.  Those that could not wrap their minds and hearts around what He had to say, in verse 66 turned back from following Him.  This “hard teaching” is what I am looking for.  I read and reread the discourse looking for insight.  It was then that the Lord turned again and faced me and said, “…You do not want to go away also, do you?” (verse 67).  I sat back and looked hard at that question and weighed it with what He said in Matthew about denying myself and taking the cross.  Jesus said in another passage that a wise man counts the cost before he builds the house, and I began to count the cost.  I looked back at all that I have given up and all that I have asked my wife and children to give up in my walk.  I began to see the sacrifice that must be made in order to truly follow Him.  He said once that in order to truly follow Him I must give up family, friends, career, money, prestige, prosperity, and even my own life.  I have preached these words many times, but it was not until this moment that I really began to see them, to experience them.  Coming back to John chapter 6, I read the words of Peter and it was as if my own heart where saying the same thing to Jesus;

Lord, to whom shall we go? You have words of eternal life.

We have believed and have come to know that You are the Holy One of God.” (verse 68-69 emphasis added).  There you have it– where else can I go, to Whom else can I go to hear the words of eternal life?  Only Jesus has what I need to sustain me, so…

But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” (Matthew 6:33)

In the window shopping I stopped first in chapter 14 and read the first few verses. It was a Psalm of David as he lamented at the fallen state of mankind. I could relate. I then made my way to chapter 31 and read the first four verses:

In You, O LORD, I have taken refuge; Let me never be ashamed; In Your righteousness deliver me. Incline Your ear to me, rescue me quickly; Be to me a rock of strength, A stronghold to save me. For You are my rock and my fortress; For Your name’s sake You will lead me and guide me. You will pull me out of the net which they have secretly laid for me, For You are my strength.

I took a moment to just sit back and reflect on what the Lord had given me. At this point I was no longer dwelling on the invasion and I was chasing God through Psalms, I felt a little like a kid playing hide and go seek. I could almost hear the laughter of God just up ahead and around the corner of the next Psalm. I plunged ahead to chapter 35 and I could hear Him say, “I will take care of those that hurt you as I take care of you, then in my minds eye He skipped ahead just out of reach. I followed on to chapter 40 only to come face to face with:

I waited patiently for the LORD; And He inclined to me and heard my cry. He brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry clay, And He set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God; Many will see and fear And will trust in the LORD. How blessed is the man who has made the LORD his trust, And has not turned to the proud, nor to those who lapse into falsehood. Many, O LORD my God, are the wonders which You have done, And Your thoughts toward us; There is none to compare with You If I would declare and speak of them, They would be too numerous to count.

Wow, was all I could say. I do not know is the Lord ever giggles, the Bible said he wept, so in my mind I would say that if he can cry he can laugh. I hope that no one feels that this is sacrilegious but in my mind I heard the Lord giggle and take off again. I followed him all the way to Psalm 90. It is the oldest Psalm, one that Moses wrote, and through it I could hear the Lord say playfully, it is all stuff, meaningless and lost in the vastness of eternity. We are only here for a short time then we will play, dance, and laugh with Jesus for all eternity and this part of our existence will seem like a monochromatic dream that fades almost as soon as we wake. He then took a serious tone with me as He ran on to chapter 144. He told me that although this is the shadow land with heaven being the reality, I still needed to take it seriously for there is a war being fought. I sat there dumbfounded. The night of the break in we were up at the Hotel on post and through an odd turn of events we got to talk to every single person in the hotel. The fire alarm went off during our meal and as we were standing outside in the cold looking at all the warm soup in the lobby we started to talk to everyone. I came away from that meal feeling like it was the best one that we as a church had sponsored in a long time. I could tell that my game of hide and seek with the Lord was coming to an end for this moment as he lead me to one last chapter, 145. It is a hymn of praise that brought tears to my eyes. He is my rock and in Him will I ever sing my praises to. Closing the Bible at that moment I felt the presence of the Lord more strongly then I have felt in many years.

As I write this first entry of a blog that will hopefully run for a good long time it is my hope and prayer that in times of distress you turn to God’ Word. Chasing God through the pages is just a foretaste of what heaven will be like.